We're just cruising...

"Come on burn out!" Came the voice of a stranger on a warm July night. "NO she's too chicken." My passenger yelled in response. The streets were crowded with people and cars. I could feel the intensity of the night in the back of my neck. My arms were stiff and not willing to move. I was fighting the urge to just stop the truck right where I was and start crying.

I could hear the challenges of people all around me "rev' her up!" I was scared and to this I yelled "this is my daddy's truck." My passenger a close friend of mine and has been for many years was laughing. The laughter of my friend somehow comforted me and her words "Calm down" which is usually my line to her was soothing to my nerves.

Where was I? Go ahead and guess ... I was out enjoying the Emmett Cruise Night festivities. I have never been a big fan of watching old cars drive up and down streets. I however enjoy spending time with my friend Katie. She is one of those rare amazing people that can tell you anything about anyone. She is always in the know and always willing to give up information. Who is with who, where so and so is living, who went to jail, who almost died. You name it she has got the scoop. I often wonder what she tells others about me, but that is for another time. My point is that this woman has got a serious gift of gab. I like going places with her because we get to go where the people are and she does all the talking.

I am one of those socially akward people. I do not enjoy small talk and I do not like introductions. Both of which I try to get over by forcing myself into akward conversations sometimes I succeed and sometimes I flop. One of my greatest irritations is when God reminds me that he has called me to use my voice. He says this a lot. I do not fully understand the statement either. There are so many ways a voice can be used. Well I counteract that with "I better get wiser. I do not want to go around spouting folly all over people." All I can say is someday I will understand.

Have you ever regretted the way you treated people before? Oh of course you have I mean we are all humans and in that comes the privelage of making mistakes. Everytime I go to Emmett functions I see people I used to know and I am immediately repentive for the way I treated them when I was younger. I did not like people when I was in high school infact I hated almost every person I came in contact with. I thought terrible thoughts of justice, I called it, coming upon these people. How they were all sinners and how I despised the sin they were in. This from a christian. Of course a critical, severly wounded, and wrong christian. I am quite the different person now and most people have a hard time believing I was so condemning and mean spirited.

Now when I see people from school I do not know what to say. First I am lucky if they remember me because I thought it below me to talk to people of lower standards than mine. (Ha) Second what would I say "hey remember me? We were in french class together. I could not stand you. Infact I thought terrible, evil thoughts about you almost everyday and could not wait for the day I graduated and never had to see your face again. Well I guess I did not get my wish because here we are talking anyways. Oh but I promise I have changed I am sure you are an outstanding citizen and I would love to get to know you for real." Well if that does not get the conversation rolling I do not know what will. So what do I do know? I ride on the skirts of my dear friend Katie. She does the socializing and I stand there smiling.

This really affects my life in general. I have a problem. I do not know how to talk, react, or treat people. Apply this to my life as a christian - living a life of example is not enough. Words need to be spoken that back the attitude or outlook up. I need to learn to speak. I may not be a glamorous speaker or the most entertaining, but having a voice is one of the most important tools of a christian.

Here are some scriptures on the voice in general...

He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin. Proverbs 13:3

A wicked messenger falls into trouble, but a trustworthy envoy brings healing. Proverbs 13:17

She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. Proverbs 31:26

Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. Ephesians 4:15

But we continue to preach because we have the same kind of faith the psalmist had when he said, "I believed in God, so I spoke." 2 Corinthians 4:13

This is a way of encouraging myself and expressing my past. I have been thinking a lot about how I am to talk? What I am to say and how I should come across. Where am I placing myself in the car? Am I the person willing talk to people as we pass by? Or am I the stiff uncomfortable type relying on other people to speak up for me? Unfortunately right now I am the latter, but I have faith that I will not always be so akward.

I was a mad sciencetist. Boiling concoctions, mixing potions, and bringing joy to children everywhere. This past week our church hosted our Vacation Bible Experience. The theme was Slime Lab and I got to be the fun lady with the dry ice. Every morning kids would be oozing with joy and excitement as they saw me enter the room with my cart. Exclaiming "this one needs more ice" and "ooooh what is that?" I had such a blast.

Which took me back to my Vacation Bible School experiences. Take away all the glitz and glamour of VBX and you have my low budget summer fun. I loved VBS as a child and one thing I remember the most was a lesson on tithes and offerings and how God would give back to you what you have given to him. I was 8 and I was saving up for a radio with a tape deck. That is all I wanted and asked for until finally I was convinced that I should save whatever money I could squander for this remarkable invention that would catapult me into the modern 1990's.

The concept that the speaker introduce was easy for me to grasp. With the understand that giving to God my heart's desires lead to greater blessings I came back the next day with all my money saved for that glorious radio. It seemed like an exorbitant amount of money to me and with childlike faith I gave it away.

I did get my radio by the way it wasn't until christmas, but I remember the excitement when I received it. I joyfully exclaimed that God had given to me what I wanted and how he blessed me. The 6 month time lapse never crossed my mind just the generosity and greatness of my Provider.

The reminder of this story comes with good timing for me. After spending a large portion of my time, money, energy, and more for God. I have wondered why I have not yet seen the return. I did not see my radio for 6 months but I knew it was coming and I recognized God's gift when it was given to me.

How long will it take to see the return of the seeds I am sowing now? 6 months? 6 years? 6o years? There are many bibilical examples of those who waited far longer than me. I do not know what the return will look like or when it will happen. I do know that I love God and that is why I have given this life to him. As far as blessings go I have so many it would be hard to count. Way more than the freckles on my face, arms, and legs combined. (That is a lot by the way.)

Don't buy cheap jewelry!

Yesterday morning I woke up with a simple message from God "don't buy cheap jewelry!" I was sleeping well when I had a dream that I was with a few people at a christian conference. We had just heard a speaker and everyone but me was impressed and excited about this man. We decided to go check out the speakers sales booth. It was pathetic. He had calendars with pictures of him in it, a sad excuse for a book, and jewelry. It felt like I was at a bad flea market. I had a pocket full of money which is how you know I was dreaming because I rarely ever have money. Someday I will, right now I am content relying on God. While looking at the jewelry I discovered some pieces that I liked and they were all under $2. I hestitated to buy anything at the realization that this great buy would leave me green yet I found one ring that interested me.

That was my cue to wake up. First thing I recall was God saying "what does that mean?" To this I replied "you don't want me to buy cheap jewelry."

I fell back into my deep slumber and woke many hours later. This interesting revelation has been on my mind since. God does not want us to settle. He does not want us to ask for the small. I think I have offended God in this way. He has not called me to normal, which I have known for some time. He has called me to greater things than cheap jewelry he wants me to ask for the real jewels. Diamonds, Saphires, Emeralds, Opals, or Jade my favorite.

This applies to the church as well. Last night I heard an incredible message about the bride of christ. How God has called us to do the incredible. Jesus told us this, “I tell you the truth, anyone who believes in me will do the same works I have done, and even greater works, because I am going to be with the Father." John 14:12. There was an analogy of a husband leaving his wife for a few days and coming back to find that a. the household is well and his wife cared enough to make the home a comforting place to return to. Or b. the wife waited around the house for her beloved to return doing nothing. We anticipates Jesus' return but we have a job to do in the mean time. Not just waiting but working, making sure our beloved returns to find that all is taken care of.

I am guilty offending God with my pitiful requests. He has a bigger plan and the time has come to stop asking for cheap jewelry and to start investing in real treasures. I believe God is raising a generation that will really chase after what matters. A seeking generation that longs for God's wisdom rather than man's. So start asking BIG. Start asking for miracles and wonders. Ask for what you never expected or thought could happen because it will.